


Wasted Youth

by GayMothman (GhostQueen)



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, But He Gets Better, Derogatory Language, Fluff and Angst, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Lance is a dick, M/M, No Underage Sex, Not Beta Read, Post-Kerberos Mission, Season/Series 01, Self-Esteem Issues, Slut Shaming, keith is 18 at the start of the fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-12
Updated: 2018-08-12
Packaged: 2019-06-26 06:26:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,267
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15657624
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GhostQueen/pseuds/GayMothman
Summary: Keith knew all too well what it was like to wake up alone. He knew what others thought about him. He also knew he didn't care.At least, that's what he told himself.





	1. Infinity

**Author's Note:**

> Based on 'Teen Idle' by Marina and the Diamonds and set during season 1 of Voltron.  
> .  
> .  
> .  
> If you're here for an update on my Ben 10 Fanfic, I'M SORRY I'M WORKING ON IT (she said while not working on it)  
> Yeah, I'm /that/ author.  
> .  
> .  
> update: i'm also that bitch that forgets to write a summary before posting

When Shiro left for Kerberos, Keith was left with a void he wasn’t sure how to fill. There was no one around to guide him or stop him from doing something rash.

 

He threw all his effort into his classes and found himself at the top of his class. 

 

But it wasn’t enough. 

 

His standing in his class gained him the attention of the so-called “popular kids”. It was a very immature way to refer to a clique at a military academy, but that’s what they were. He had been sitting at lunch, alone as always, when a couple girls walked up to him and invited him to a party they were holding off campus. 

 

He didn’t intend on going, but he did anyway. He’s still not sure what compelled him to go. He didn’t regret it. Not immediately. 

 

He showed up and the party was already raging. It wasn’t really his scene, but then one of the girls who invited him handed him a red solo cup. And then one solo cup turned into six more. He vaguely remembered following some senior officer upstairs while people cheered below them. 

 

He did remember waking up alone and feeling used. 

 

He forgot the name of the officer. 

 

That was how Keith got his first taste of popularity. He kind of liked it. 

 

He sat with his friends at meal times. They weren’t really his friends, but he was good at pretending they were. They talked about mindless things. They gossiped about who was sleeping with who and what officers they thought were hot. He was never really interested in what they talked about, but it was much better than everyone hating him. 

 

He learned quickly that popularity also had it’s downsides.

 

Rumors spread like wildfire after each party he went to, gossiping about which officer he slept with this time. Some of them were true, some of them weren’t. 

 

He didn’t care. He just liked the feeling of drinking until he felt nothing. And if he sometimes woke up feeling a certain way that even twenty hot showers couldn’t fix, he just learned to deal with it. 

 

He was still focused on his studies, but now his peers thought he was trying to sleep his way to the top. Which he wasn’t, but that didn’t stop the rumors.

 

He didn’t ask to be the academy whore, but no one seemed to care what he thought about the subject.

 

Sometimes, he wondered what Shiro would think about what he’s been doing. He’d probably be ashamed, but Keith couldn’t bring himself to care.

 

**_“Pilot Error”_ **

 

It took two words to turn his hobby into an addiction. 

 

Shiro’s death had left him hollowed. 

 

He got addicted to being numb. He branched out into other drugs at parties. He knew it was a bad idea, but there was no one to stop him. It made everything go away for a short period of time. It wasn’t long before he was the life of every party. 

 

Each party ended with him waking up alone. 

 

Keith didn’t care if he was an “easy lay” according to his peers, as long as his teachers saw him for his merit. 

 

So, when Commander Gibson called him into his office, Keith thought nothing of it. He thought it was in regards to his latest paper which got a respectable B+, but it wasn’t an A. 

 

It was about the paper. Commander Gibson offered him a deal. Sleep with him in exchange for an A+ in his class.

 

Keith was low, lowest he’d ever been, but he wasn’t that low. He tried to say no. 

 

But Commander Gibson wouldn’t take no for an answer. 

 

Keith scrubbed his skin raw in the shower that night. He resigned himself to never feeling clean.

 

The grade wasn’t worth it. 

 

His classmates immediately picked up Gibson’s obvious favoritism towards him in class.

 

More rumors flew.

 

He skipped a few parties over the next few weekends. This only seemed to fuel the fire. They seemed to think he had some sort of love affair with Gibson. 

 

Keith had to physically hold back vomit every time Gibson crossed his mind.

 

What was he even staying for? Shiro? Shiro would be disappointed in what he’d become.

 

He had no purpose here anymore.

 

He dropped out of the Garrison.

 

Even after he’d left, people still spread rumors about him. About why he left or who he left for. As if he’d actually left to hook up with some officer. 

 

He didn’t know where to go, so he went to the one place he knew. 

 

It was a small shack in the desert. It once belonged to his dad, but he guessed it belonged to him now.

 

It had been about a month since he’d been to a party. He never realized how much he came to rely on the numbness that the parties provided him. 

 

The silence of the desert was a different kind of numb. It allowed him to think.

 

He decided it was much better than the blaring speakers and alcohol. 

 

He’d found that there wasn’t much to do all alone in the desert. Thankfully, he was kept busy by whatever energy was calling him. 

 

If that hadn’t kept him busy, then he probably wouldn’t be around anymore. 

 

He knew he was bad. He knew that he probably needed to get some actual professional help, but he couldn’t afford that.

 

So, he focused, and the energy led him back to Shiro. Eventually. 

 

It also led him to his former classmates.

 

It led him to Voltron.

 

Every time he was around Shiro, Keith just felt ashamed of himself and the choices he’s made. 

 

He tried to avoid Lance and Hunk as much as possible, because they knew who he was. 

 

If only Lance would leave him alone about their dumb one-sided rivalry. 

 

Maybe then Lance wouldn’t have called him the “school slut” in front of the team. 

 

In front of Shiro.

 

He fled the room quickly after that. 

 

They might have called after him. They might not have. He couldn’t tell. 

 

It didn’t matter. Lance was right, after all.

 

Keith found himself in the showers, with the water almost burning him. He scrubbed at his skin until it was red and raw and his arm was sore. He fell onto the tile floor of the shower, water and tears mixing together as they fell to the floor.

 

He stayed in there until the water ran cold. 

 

He harshly dried himself off, the towel coarse against his inflamed skin. His clothes chaffed against his damp body. 

 

He took it as a good sign when he didn’t run into anyone on the way back to his room.

 

Lance probably explained what a whore he was and they were currently preparing to kick him off the team. 

 

The Red Lion deserved so much better than him as a pilot. It wasn’t like he set the bar very high.

 

Voltron deserved better than a paladin who used to spread his legs at the mention of alcohol.

 

Shiro deserved better than the trashy mess of a human that was left of him.

 

He fell into his bed, his body racked with dry sobbing. He couldn’t produce anymore tears.

 

The sobbing eventually subsided and left him in the erie silence of the room, the only noise being produced was from Keith’s uneven breathing.

 

The knock at his door startled him. He couldn’t speak.

 

“Keith,” Of course it was Shiro. He was probably here to inform Keith he’d been kicked out, “I-I know you’re in there. Please,” He sounded strangely desperate, “Please talk to me. Let me in.”

 

Keith couldn’t reply, even if he wanted to. His throat was dry and he couldn’t find it in himself to produce words.

 

“Keith. Don’t make me come in there,” Shiro sounded like he was trying to be threatening, but couldn’t follow through, “I… Keith, I’m sorry. Please open the door. We really should talk.”

 

Keith couldn’t will his body to move. Instead, he spoke quietly, his voice hoarse, “It’s open.”

 

He could hear the sigh of relief on the other side before the door swung open. He didn’t bother lifting his head to look at the doorway. His eyes were glued to the wall in front of him.

 

A weight settled on the bed next to him. A hand laid on his thigh, but when he instinctively flinched, the hand immediately retracted. 

 

“Keith…” Shiro seemed at a loss for words, “What happened back there?”

 

Keith mentally scoffed, as if Shiro hadn’t put the pieces together before coming here. He offered a small shrug, barely noticeable, “Tell me what you think happened.”

 

“Well, Lance called you a demeaning insult and you stormed off,” Shiro said it in a way that seemed so matter of fact, like he wasn’t trying to blame Keith. 

 

Keith would have rolled his eyes if he wasn’t so exhausted, “Yeah. I was there. Did Lance tell you anything about it?” He asked the question, but he wasn’t so sure he wanted the answer. 

 

Shiro paused.

 

That was answer enough for Keith, “So he did. What did he say?” he softly scoffed, “I’ll tell you truth from rumor.”

 

Shiro remained silent for a moment longer, “He said you were part of the party scene and slept around a lot at the Garrison. He said you were sleeping with Commander Gibson and dropped out to continue the relationship. Listen, Ke-“

 

He couldn’t listen to it any longer, “No,” He said sitting up, “Let me tell you right now,” He looked Shiro in the eyes, “There are a lot of things I did at the Garrison that I’m not proud of, but I never once tried to ‘sleep my way to the top’. Gibson,” Keith visibly shuddered and looked away from Shiro, “saw how I was throwing my life away and tried to take advantage of it. He…uh didn’t like it when I tried to tell him no,” Keith was curling in on himself.

 

“Keith,” he braced himself for disgust, but was greeted with anger instead. He backed himself up into the corner of his bunk and willed himself to look up.

 

Shiro looked furious, but not at him. Shiro turned to Keith and seemed to notice the effect his demeanor had on him and calmed himself a bit, “Keith. What did he do to you?”

 

Keith tried to shrug it off, “It doesn’t matter anymor-“

 

“It does,” Shiro cut him off, “It matters to me. It matters to me when you get hurt.”

 

Fresh tears began pooling in Keith’s eyes, “Are you really going to make me say it?”

 

Shiro gently grabbed Keith’s face and wiped away tears with his thumbs, “No. I understand. And when we get back to Earth, I will not let him get away with this.”

 

Keith gave a small, resigned smile at Shiro’s determination, “I’m glad you believe me, but I doubt anyone else is going to believe me when it’s his word against mine.”

 

Shiro suddenly had an uncharacteristic smirk, “We’ll be coming back to Earth in a giant war machine. I can think of a few ways to get payback.”

 

Letting out a small laugh, Keith felt like he could smile freely for the first time in a long, long time. His hands rose up to lay on top of Shiro’s as he looked at him, an apprehensive look on his face, “So you’re not mad at me?”

 

Shiro looked honest-to-god confused, “What? Why would I be mad at you?”

 

Keith shook his head, “Because I slept with a ton of people at the Garrison in an effort to fit in in your absence? Because I was the ‘school slut’ like Lance called me? Or maybe because-“

 

Shiro closed his eyes and leaned in, closing the distance between them and effectively shutting Keith up. His mental process short-circuited and soon his eyes fluttered shut as he melted into the kiss.

 

It was sweet and gentle, unlike anything Keith had experienced before. Keith only knew sloppy makeouts and bruised lips. 

 

But Shiro held him as if he were a precious object.

 

It was a welcome change.

 

When the kiss ended, all too soon, Keith still held concern in his eyes, sure that Shiro was making a mistake.

 

Shiro simply smiled fondly at him, “Keith… I don’t care how many people you did or didn’t sleep with. They don’t define you. I love you for who you are and what you stand for.”    

 

And, just like that, Keith was crying again, but this time for a different reason. He reached forward and wrapped his arms around Shiro, flinging himself into his embrace. Shiro held on as if he never planned on letting go. 

 

Keith could feel himself beginning to drift off, the emotional toll of the day finally taking hold of his consciousness and the overwhelming feeling of security as Shiro cradled him allowing him to fall into a calm, dreamless sleep.

 

Keith finally knew what it was like to not wake up alone.


	2. Extra Scene

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lance and Keith talk and work out their problems.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not really a necessary addition to the first part, but Lance is not a total dick and this part is here if you want to see Lance not be a dick. Anyway, this is kinda dumb, but I like it anyway.

The next day proceeded as normal as possible. They ran through a couple training drills before being called away to fight a small Galra fleet. 

 

But not once did Keith say a word to Lance that wasn’t Voltron-related.

 

Lance tried to talk to Keith, but he wouldn’t listen. Sure, he only talked in the form of egging him on, but it usually worked. 

 

Actually, the entire team seemed to be avoiding him to an extent.

 

Lance knew he fucked up, but he didn’t see what was so bad about what he said. It wasn’t like he said anything that wasn’t true. 

 

But, by the looks Shiro has been sending him, he needed to fix this now.

 

Keith wasn’t in any of his normal places. Not on the training deck. Not… well, that was the only place Lance knew to look, honestly.

 

It took some wandering, but Lance eventually found him on one of the observation decks. 

 

Keith looked up as soon as the door opened and, upon the realization of Lance’s presence, got up to leave.

 

“Keith, wait,” He was suddenly filled with desperation to resolve this, “Please.”

 

Keith stopped in the doorway before sighing and turning around.

 

“Thank you,” Now, that Keith was finally listening, Lance had no idea what to say, “I… uh…”

 

Keith scoffed and began to turn back around. 

 

Lance immediately reached for his wrist, “Keith, I’m sorry.”

 

Keith didn’t leave, but also didn’t move to look at Lance.

 

So, Lance continued, “I was a real dick yesterday. I talked about you as if it matters how many people you slept with or what your relationship with Gibs-“

 

Keith’s eyes immediately snapped up to his, fire ignited, “Shut up. You have no idea what you’re talking about.”

 

Lance tried not to rise to Keith’s intensity. Tried. Lance glared back, “Oh yeah? Newsflash! It was never a secret that you were banging Commander Gibson in order to keep your standing at the top of the class.”

 

This time, Keith yelled back, defensive, “It wasn’t my fucking fault that son of a bitch raped me so he could get what he wanted!”

 

Keith seemed to realize what he said too late. 

 

There was a moment of tense silence and Lance realized he went way too far this time, “Keith, I-“

 

“No, no, it’s fine,” Keith didn’t sound bitter, he just sounded resigned, “I get it. I totally deserved it,” he had crossed his arms and seemed to be folding in on himself as if to somehow make himself smaller. 

 

Lance shook his head, “Dude, what? No! You totally didn’t deserve that. I may be a dick, but I’m not fucking evil,” he stepped closer to Keith and laid a hand on his shoulder, “I always knew you earned you place based on your own merit, but I guess I was so desperate to compare to you that I was completely willing to believe some rumor that tried to invalidate you. I’m such an asshole. I’m sorry.”

 

Keith was still looking down, “You don’t have to say those things, if you don’t mean them. I saw Shiro glaring at you earlier. It’s okay. I understand.”

 

Lance blinked, incredulous, “What? No. I mean, I knew I needed to talk to you regardless, but it helped that Shiro was a driving force. I meant everything I said,” he thought for a moment, “And another thing, it was so 2009 of me to try and slutshame you in an argument. If I’m going to insult you,” Lance smirked, “I better do it based on things that actually matter. Like your dumb mullet,” it was a weak joke, but it got Keith to laugh a little, so he counted it as a win. 

 

They fell into a comfortable silence for a few moments before Lance spoke up again, “Are we okay?”

 

Keith looked up at him and gave a rare, soft smile, “Yeah, we’re okay,” he looked off for a moment and then added on, “I mean… we’ll be even better once you decide to start paying attention during drills.”

 

Lance groaned, “Ugh, not you too. I already have Shiro hounding me about this. Now you too?” 

 

Keith nodded with a smile, “Yeah. News travels fast in this castle. Funny how that works.”

 

They both had a small laugh before Keith looked at the clock on the wall behind Lance, “Oh shit, I was supposed to meet Shiro five doboshes ago for…” Keith seemed to realize who exactly he was talking to, “A thing.”

 

Now, Lance was very interested, “A thing, huh? Can I come?” He had the restrain himself from baring a shiteating grin as Keith sputtered to deflect.

 

“I… uh… Shiro and I planned the thing to be just us. Not that it’s a date or anything! Not to exclude you or anything! We just wanted some time to ourselves. Not that I speak for Shiro or anything. Oh, quiznak, this sounds like a date. It’s not a date!” Keith was somehow able to rush all of that out of him mouth in one breath. 

 

Lance couldn’t hold it in anymore as he immediately started laughing. He was only able to stop when he looked up at Keith’s stunned and slightly worried face, “I don’t want to be a third wheel on your date, Keith. I’m just teasing you.”

 

Keith let out a sigh of relief, “Oh, thank god,” He looked at the clock again, “I really need to go now, but I’m glad we had this talk, Lance.”

 

Lance smiled, “Me too. It’s nice not having to hate each other all the time.”

 

“Yeah,” Keith began to turn around, “I’ll see you around, Lance.”

 

Keith was already on his way down the hall when Lance called out, “Have fun on your date! Maybe not too much fun though, since my room is next to yours!

 

Freezing, Keith turned around, his face beat red, “It’s not a date!”

 

Suddenly, an arm swung around Keith’s shoulders. Shiro stood next to Keith and waved at Lance down the hall. He looked down at Keith, “Are you ready for our date?”

 

Keith somehow turned even more red and buried his face in his hands. He allowed Shiro to guide him away, but that didn’t stop him from flipping off Lance as they walked away.

 

Lance laughed to himself and walked away in the opposite direction. Deciding he probably didn’t want to be in his room for the next few hours, he headed down to Pidge’s lab to see what he could do to help in the meantime.

**Author's Note:**

> Yeah, I'm aware this isn't the best fanfiction in the world and my writing style is a little weird, but sometimes it just be like that. 
> 
> thanks for reading!


End file.
